


Ghost of You

by coldeyesroni



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghost Hunters, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Moving On, Original Character Death(s), Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-28 15:09:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13906635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldeyesroni/pseuds/coldeyesroni
Summary: His warmth, smile, breath, love and his life: by death this was out of Jongin's grasp when he lost Kyungsoo. But there is nothing more painful than seeing again the one you love only for you to make them go away, now for the best.Jongin never hated death more than he does now.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [r0tkappchen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/r0tkappchen/gifts).



> Original prompt from my girl, @_owletsoo:  
> "Exorcist/Hunter Jongin is contacted n asked to get rid of whatever spirit that is lingering around the small town, good or bad. Only to be shocked when he sees that it's none other than his deceased boyfriend/fiance, Kyungsoo."
> 
> Thank you for tagging me!

 

Sun rays glistening on the trees, voices around them from the kids running around the park, a music playing not so far from a stall who's selling ice-cream and a hand on his hair massaging his scalp, slowly brushing away the tension on his body: his head on his fiance's lap. Kyungsoo's other hand drawing circles at the palm of Jongin's hands, their rings catching the sun and reflecting it. His boyfriend knows where to relax his nerves and now this is what he calls, having a moment.

  
The humming that's been occupying his thoughts suddenly stopped and Jongin can't help but turn his head on his fiance.

"Why did you stop?" it's their bonding time & he loves listening to Kyungsoo humming a song while he rest on the latter's lap.

  
"You have a message Jongin, stop over thinking," Kyungsoo rolls his eyes as he reached Jongin's phone and gave it to him.

 

 _Ugh. Work_.

 

 **Dae** : _Boss we received a call, some red spirit lurking around an apartment near south, downtown. The caller said it was her husband's ex-wife. Need to go now. ASAP._

 

He never thought as a child that he'll be meeting ghosts in a daily basis when he grows up, but now look at him, already 2 years in the job and one of the city's most trusted exorcist, yes, never in his life. It was his eyes, their leader Junmyeon said when they met for the first time, he said that Jongin's eyes was gifted.

Jongin agrees, he can see spirits alright. But he can see more, their weakness: a distinct part of a spirit's body, a flaw one carried when he/she was still alive.

In Jongin's eyes, it would look like a slight cut, with white light glistening from it, this is where he would stab the spirit, with his blessed knife: to have a talk and then send it back again to where ever it should be.

 

_Evil or good, Jongin believes a spirit should be heard, one last time._

 

Yet he hates it when this part of his life interrupts his time with Kyungsoo, the smaller working in a kindergarten. His fiance love kids, and Jongin find it endearing.

 

They've been together for 4 years now he's planning to have their wedding on their 5th year, they were college sweethearts: and Jongin loves him more for accepting that part of him.

 

"You have to go Jongin," Kyungsoo leaned in and pecks his lips, then nuzzles the scent on his chest. Jongin shivered.

  
"I can tell them no and ask Chanyeol to go instead," Jongin grabbed the smaller by the neck slowly and tilted his head for a kiss, he loves kissing Kyungsoo, so soft.

  
"You know Baek will pop off anytime soon," Kyungsoo's bestfriend is giving birth anytime, and his co-member Chanyeol who's also an exorcist, has been on the edge since last week.

  
"Ughhhh, why is life so unfair to me, I want to spend more time with you, but ghosts happens and they ruin the moment!" Jongin rested his head on Kyungsoo's neck and cursing his gifted eyes and this life for taking away his time.

 

A loud deep laugh reached his ears, and he just can't help but hugged the smaller tight, God he loves Kyungsoo so much.

  
"You don't mean that, you love your job and sending off spirits, stop lying," he's still laughing, well he was not wrong anyway.

  
"Besides,--," Kyungsoo tapped his head and made him look up, round sparkling eyes stared at him, a small heart smile on his boyfriend's face.

So beautiful, Jongin thought.

  
"--- I love you, nini." A fond smile creeps on Jongin's face as he leaned forward and kissed Kyungsoo's forehead.

"I love you too, Soo. So much."

 

  
They were silent for a few minutes, letting the sun kiss their skin, just feeling each others presence, remembering the time spent together.

 

Then Jongin decided that he should really leave, before Jongdae would call and rant about him being a lazy ass exorcist.

 

 

One final kiss, then they part.

* * *

 

  
As he drives heading to their headquarters, Jongin can't help but feel contented,

  
_"I'll be waiting for you at home anyways,"_ Kyungsoo happily said earlier before they part.

 

  
Right, he'll be seeing Kyungsoo at home, smiling and with opened arms welcoming him home after a long tiring day.

 

Jongin smiles, like he is not on his way to send away a vengeful spirit.

* * *

  
But there was nothing, there was no Kyungsoo with a smile and loud deep voice to welcome him home, there was no Kyungsoo for him to kiss and hug so tightly.

There was no home.

There was no Kyungsoo.

 

_That day, Kyungsoo never made it home._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst ahead, I warned you.

 

  _It was a drunk driver, some asshole who couldn’t control his alcohol tolerance but still drove in a wet highway._

 

Jongin remembered receiving a call from Baekhyun, he remembered the tremble the latter was controlling before he could even talk, “ _Jongin—Kyungsoo—Soo’s—g-gone_ ”,

 

Jongin had to stop his car to ask Baekhyun again, _“Baek can you say that again? What happened to Kyungsoo?”_ he knows something was wrong just as he made his way home.

 

 _“He was hit by a car Jongin! the police said a drunk d_ _river was driving fast, and- and the lights were on stop, but Kyungsoo was already walking across and th-the car just came out of nowhere and—Kyungsoo...omg, I was on the phone talking to him! oh my God please come here now--”_ Baekhyun, already sobbing.

Jongin can also hear Chanyeol through the phone,

“ _Jongin listen to me, I already call Soo’s parents and they’re on their way already. Jongin the driver was dead on the spot, the car hit a post and he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt, but Kyungsoo he--- he was DOA Jongin, I’m so sorry buddy..”_

 

Silence and his breathing are the only things he can think of now inside his car. Kyungsoo? Gone?

 

_He's gone._

_He's gone._

_He's gone._

 

_He's gone._

 

No, his fiancé said he’ll be waiting at home, at _their_ home.

Kyungsoo’s heart smile will greet him when he opens the door, he will kiss him and hug him tight.

 

_No, no._

 

He remembered breaking all the rules on his way to the hospital, he remembered the tightness as he gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white, he remembers himself, already in tears. He remembered the thundering sounds accompanying his pain and his sobs, him choking for air because the idea of Kyungsoo, his Kyungsoo, lying down on a table, cold and pale.

 

 _Lifeless_.

 

He remembered arriving at the hospital, he didn’t even park his car, he bolted out of the vehicle and didn’t bother closing the door.

The white walls, the white dresses, the patients, the lights, he was running so fast he bumped into someone and didn’t bother to say his sorry.

 He slowed his pace when he arrives in a hallway and saw Baekhyun, crying in Chanyeol’s arms, he saw Kyungsoo’s parents, pain stricken on their own faces, they’re in a hallway.

 

_The morgue’s hallway._

 

Junmyeon, his boss was there too, standing and leaning to the wall, staring at the wall in front of him.

Baekhyun, seeing Jongin out of breath and tears close to falling again, held his hands.

 “I was on the phone with Soo, he said he was on the way to a bakery to buy some cookies, he-he was talking to me before it happened. Jongin- it was so fast, I only heard a crash and then, then he was silent. I--“ Baekhyun sobs again while Chanyeol rubs his husband’s arms.

He can hear Kyungsoo’s mother crying again, and Jongin can’t help but feel like being squeezed, he feels so little, he can’t move, he can’t breathe.

 Junmyeon was suddenly on his peripheral vision, gripping his shoulders, with a grim emotion on his own face.

“Jongin, he’s inside, he’s been waiting.”

 

He nodded, blinked twice and then the tears finally fell as he made his way to the door.

When he opened it, the first thing he felt was, cold. Hair at the back of his neck stood; he holds back a sob when he spotted a body, covered in a white blanket, on the table.

His right hand in fist and covering his mouth, holding back a scream, tears blurring his vision, and his body shaking because of what he is seeing.

 _His_   _Kyungsoo, is gone._

 

He removes the blanket covering Kyungsoo’s face, and there, he saw his love, his fiance. There was a little bit of blood left on Kyungsoo’s forehead, his eyes closed, hair wet, his face pale, and his lips almost the shade of purple.

“Kyungsoo?” a whisper escaped Jongin.

“Soo-,” now holding his fiance’s hand.

“Baby?” and then, _nothing_.

 He let it out, the scream he has been holding back.

“Kyungsoo?! Soo? p-please open your eyes, b-baby please, p-please, please- b-baby please...” Jongin shakes the cold body, hugging the supposedly warm body he so loved to wrapped in to his bigger arms.

His screams echoing inside of the room, pains the people in their life outside.

“Baby-wake up, please wake up, please wake up Kyungsoo...” a choked sob, the tightness on his chest making it hard for him to breathe.

Jongin stayed like that, whispering words to Kyungsoo, the sobbing continues and his eyes hurting. He was caressing Kyungsoo’s face, his cheeks, his eyelids, his brows, his lips, his neck, his shoulders, arms, hands.

And then he felt the cold metal on Kyungsoo’s fingers, their engagement _ring_ , the ring he presented kneeling on his one knee, asking Kyungsoo to marry him, to spend their _lifetime_ with each other.

 

Jongin stopped crying, he took the ring off on his fiance’s finger, and put a lingering kiss on Kyungsoo’s forehead.

" _I love you every day we’re together. And now I will miss you every day you’re not here with me.”_   his words echoes through out the room.

The loss and pain spreading all throughout his body, his body shaking but not from it, from _anger_ , from _hatred_.

He bolted out of the room and run so fast, ignoring the screams from the people in their life, in his and Kyungsoo’s life.

He run out of the hospital, despite the heavy rain and thunder, he ran and ran and ran ‘till his limbs tire out.

He stopped on a clear hill, lights from the city below visible. He gasped for air, the rain soaking his shirt, thundering sounds screaming at him.

“Is this what you wanted?!” Jongin screams his pain out, “is this what you have to take for this gift you gave me! Huh?! Answer me!” thunders answered his frustrations.

“You took him away from me! We were happy! He was mine! But you just took him away from me just like that! I couldn't even say my goodbye! Why?! What did I do?!” he’s now sobbing hard.

“Kyungsoo!” he screams on top of his lungs while his lips shivers from the cold.

His body giving up.

 

_Emptiness was all Jongin feels after losing Kyungsoo. His other half taken away from him suddenly and he can’t help but blame himself for not being there with him, this world, and death._

 

* * *

 

**_1 year later_ **

 

Sun rays glistening on the trees, silence surrounded the park, no music playing, no hand on his hair to massage the tension out on his scalp, no lap to lay his head on, the song he so used to hear as a hum is now just memory.

Only one breathing, only one warmth. His.

Jongin's.

He missed him, Kyungsoo. One year later, and he's still working on the absence Kyungsoo used to fill.

_At least he have their memories._

On the same park, where they both did their last kisses, and said their last I love you's, he's on the same park, but for a different reason.

 

A ghost, a 7 years old little girl is sitting beside him, she died caused by hyperthemia 3 years ago. Based on the reports, the said ghost comes back every time the first snow hits the ground. Winter season. She's lost and every time she comebacks to this park she finds that she's on the same spot, again, it confuses her, thus the cycle.

Jongin found her sitting under a tree, knees on her chest, staring at the frozen ground.

She's a _white_.

Jongin categorizes the ghosts they encounter: a _white_ for a lost and confuse spirit, _red_ for a vengeful one, and _black_ for one who wants to be with the living again, thus feeding from them.

"Mister, what is it like playing under the sun? I-I don't remember," a voice interrupted the silence, she's staring at him while Jongin gathers his thoughts. 

_Playing under the sun?_

"I haven't played under the sun for long, but I know what it feels like walking under the sun. It feels warm, you would sweat when you're under it for long, you'll feel happy walking cause the sun's up and everything is dry. It's nice to ride a bicycle, to run and and to walk with someone." he smiles at the little girl.

 

She nodded her head, she's staring at the space in front of them, the green grass now covered with snow, trees frozen, frozen drops at their tips, sun high, but still cold. His breath in smoke as he breathes out.

"I'm feeling cold," she suddenly said and since Jongin can't do much, he just scooted closer at the little girl.

 

"You're warm mister, but you're sad too." she tilted her head, "You lost someone too, like how I lost my mom when I was a baby,"

Jongin is now gaping at the ghost beside him, he admit, he's been distant to his friends, to his family, and to Kyungsoo's.

After he died, he drowned himself with work, sending off ghosts more than he used to, he distracted himself from the pain. Never did a ghost noticed the blankness in his eyes, his feelings, and Jongin will be lying if he says he's not surprised by the girl's attentiveness.

He needs to smoke after this.

"I lost my fiance, last year. He died without me being there with him. I-I didn't have the chance to say my last goodbye to him, how I love him so much, how much I'm sorry. He was taken away suddenly so I hate death right now," Jongin chuckles as he vocally say his feelings, he thinks now that there's nothing wrong talking about someone's death to a ghost, to a little girl at that.

 

The silence engulfed them, the girl suddenly seated straight and looked at him straight in the eyes, a presence he never felt before was in front of him,

 

"It's natural to die as to be born, Jongin, you can't hate something as natural as death in this world, it's the cycle of life."

_Death._

Death is in front of him, talking to him directly.

His hatred coming back, now he's talking to the one who took Kyungsoo away from him.

"You took him away suddenly, he was young, he was happy, he was good! And you took him away from the people who loves him! From me! You're the hole of this world, you're the cause of people's sadness, and you're telling me that taking away as precious as a kid like the body in front of me is natural? I _hate_ you." he said with much menace he can utter.

 

 _Death_  was the reason why Kyungsoo is not with him now.

  

_"I am just another pass, all the living must pass through me. I am not the enemy, with humanity and dignity, people will take me. Everything in life is inconsistent, except death. I am not the period in this cycle Jongin, I'm just the comma, when it's all over, life must start again."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried first before I wrote the scene at the morgue TT.TT


	3. Chapter 3

_"When a ghost is lost, you lead them back to where they came from, that's why people like you are_ _born, individuals who are gifted. But as what I am seeing now, you're the one who's lost, Jongin."_

Months after his talk with death, those words still bothers Jongin.

Yes, he's still mourning even after a year while Kyungsoo's parents has been coping up from losing their son, Baekhyun have Chanyeol and their child, while him, he's been mourning on his own, with packs of cigarettes.

He's trying to move on, but he can't deny that he's still broken.

Maybe that's what death meant about Jongin.

 

"Earth to Jongin.." his trance broken by Jongdae.

 

Jongdae, his assistant for 3 years, is looking at him worriedly,

"Boss you okay? You look like you just met death and had a talk," the guy chuckles as he placed a brown folder in Jongin's lap.

 

"I think I actually did," Jongin said incredulously, brushing his now untrimmed hair, Kyungsoo would throw a fist if he sees Jongin.

 

"Right, uh huh...okay." the red hair just shooked his head. "So, that." pointing at the untouched folder on Jongin's lap.

 

"What's this? a new case?" the last one Jongin took was the child on the park, who death possessed to talk to him.

He remembers stabbing the little girl at her right shoulder blade where a glistening cut was visible, he done it after his talk with death and asking the little girl if she's ready to cross.

 

_"I hope you smile more mister, it suits you." her last words as she disappears into little lights, looking like she was part of the snow falling._

_A white feather was beside him, he picked it up and raised it just in front of his vision of the sun, "I hope so too," Jongin whispered to no one._

 

"Case from a small town near the sea borders. I got that a month ago but you were quite busy, so I thought I should give it to Yeol instead, but- Junmyeon insisted that you should handle that."

Jongin reads the details then gaped at Jongdae.

"A singing ghost?" that's odd, they never encountered one like this before as far as Jongin remembers.

"Well if you finished reading the file, it says there that at first it was just the humming. The first activity started 5 months ago, exactly at 10 pm according to the reporter. It irked them because it's not so normal to hear someone humming late at night. Another month passed, the humming turns into singing, almost half of the town-folks heard it, they said he would walk around the town like a there's a parade or something, creeps the fuck out of me. Ughh." Jongdae dramatically shivers.

 

It's a he?

"You're acting like we didn't encounter a ghost wanting to throw her sister off of their mansion's balcony," Jongin wonders what's behind on this one's past life.

 

"Well that's a red one! This one's like a white or black..." Huh.

 

"A month after the singing activity, the kids on that town says they saw a new _"beautiful in white"_ guy singing on the hill close to the town's beach. They said he talks about crossing over or waiting for someone or something, and he would sing to the kids. A parent of one of the kids panicked when his kid didn't come one night and just came back the next morning like he just got out of his own bed. And the kid was so weak when he got home! Down with fever for 5 days straight! 5 days Jongin! saying he woke up on the same hill they would see the ghost, and some of the kids there experienced it already for weeks after the first."

"The elders didn't hear someone moving into the town either, and you know how elders talk, they're saying that it's a lost soul who want to cross but can't,"

Jongin concludes that it's probably a white, considering he wasn't harming anyone, except with what's happening with the kids.

"Perhaps an adult saw this ghost?" at least one should be able to see one.

"Only a fisherman, says he would sometimes see a small figure by the hill, he was wearing all white when the fisherman saw the ghost, and was just standing there." Jongdae escaped a tired sigh.

"It's just probably a confused one, I'll go there next week." Jongin says as recalls his calendar for this month.

 

 

 _It's almost time for Kyungsoo's 2nd death anniversary_.

 

* * *

 

Jongin doesn't remember the last time he went to a beach, if he recalls some fragments, maybe it would be when he was 17: summer vacation with his parents, he just graduated from high school then.

Working in the city and having a very unique job, he hasn't come back to one, he couldn't even bring Kyungsoo when he was still alive, his fiance used to beg Jongin for both of them to spent their extra time to one, and he regrets not being able to do that, he regrets many things.

 

"You would have love it here baby. This place is beautiful, it would have suited your tastes." Jongin whispered to the wind hitting his face, letting the sun warm his skin.

The beach was clean and quite, only the boats alligned and some fishermen, coming back from fishing. The waves gushing, salt air hitting his nostrils, it's a refreshing scent contrasting the poluted air from the city.

Jongin arrived at the town 2 hours ago, he's been walking around the town, familiarizing the roads and turns. He even went to the hill where the ghost's activity was frequent, the hill has the perfect view of the sea, sunset would also be beautiful to watch from up there, the ghost has a good taste of place to lurk into.

He also met the kids who saw the ghost, their conversation was rather interesting.

" _Mister, are you here for Mr. Beautiful?" the kid who was first hit by the fever asked him._

_"Mr. Beautiful? Is he the guy you and your friends saw up on that hill?" pointing at the direction of the said hill, the kid nodded happily._

_"Yes! He was nice! And good at singing, he also tells us stories about books and some fairytales!" well the ghost is rather friendly._

_"But-..." the kid trails off after a minute. "But what kid?" he's now kneeling in front of the child, the kid seems nervous. Was Jongdae right about the ghost being a black?_

_The kid stares at Jongin, brows knitting together. "You'll help him right?"_

_Jongin tilted his head, "Of course, that's why mister is here, I'll help your friend." he assures the kid._

_The kid was silent and Jongin thought he'll bolt and just run, "Well, sometimes he would be smiling and happily telling us stories, but when one time when me and my other friends was on our way home, I secretly made my way back to the hill..." the kid said with a dejected tone._

_"What happened?" Jongin can feel the nervousness on the kid, so he tapped his little shoulders. Go on._

_"When I arrived there, Mr. Beautiful was crying... He was crying hard, he was talking about someone..uhh.." the kid raised his eyes above, trying to remember something, "he was saying, "come for me, please look for me, I'm here, waiting.." , then he was crying hard again, and I was upset, so I runned to him, I wanted to hug him, but I-I can't touch Mr. Beautiful, mister,"_

_Hmmm._

_"Is there something wrong with Mr. Beautiful, mister?" the boy asked Jongin worriedly._

_"Maybe he was just sick kid, was this the day you didn't go home?" Jongin talking about the boy's absence for one night in their home. "Uhh yes! Mr. Beautiful was still crying, so I told him I could be his company, and so I stayed for a little longer! But it was dark already so I couldn't go home, and I was so scared, but then Mr. Beautiful said that he'd protect me and sing me to sleep! But when I woke up, he was gone."_

_Explains the 5 days fever then, the poor kid was out on the cold all night, Jongin thinks it triggered a flu affecting the smaller hosts, thus the other kids._

 

The kids says that the ghost appears just before the sun sets, so he'll gonna be waiting there, but to make sure, Jongin will also wait until tonight.

 

* * *

" _How's there?"_ Junmyeon called him to check on the job. "The beach here is amazing, " Jongin jokes

 _"Good that you're enjoying your vacation Jongin,_ " Junmyeon humors him,

_"But seriously, how you doing there?"_

Jongin tells him that he'll be waiting for the ghost before sunset, and if he doesn't appears, he'll wait until 10.

 _"Okay, update me tomorrow.----,"_ a pause, "Yep, will do. Is there anything else boss?" Jongin asked

 _"I know about your talk with-- with death,"_ His boss said in a straight tone,

"Of course you do," Jongin sarcastically laughs.

 

 _"Think about what she said.."_ then the call ended.

 

 

**_As what I am seeing now, you're the one who's lost, Jongin._ **

Maybe he really is. Playing the two rings on his ring finger, his heart clenched,

"I miss you so much, Soo. So much."

A strong wind hits his body, looking up on the sky above, it's darkening.

 

There will be a storm tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter listening to Say Something..
> 
> I wonder who's the ghost..hmmmm..


	4. Chapter 4

 

He didn't came. The ghost didn't appear and Jongin thinks it's because of the storm, funny, the ghost knows how to feel the weather. The wind now is strong, dark grey clouds above, the strong waves on the beach hits the surface, drops of rain already falling.

It's gonna be long night.

 

Maybe the ghost will come out later tonight, so he made his way down the hill, he opened his umbrella, brushing off the droplets on his black coat, his black shirt is already a little wet, his hair pulled back because of the strong wind.

 

Down on the little town, Jongin's talking to an elder. A 72 year old man who lived there half of his life, he says living on the beach side is comforting for a broken man.

"I lost my wife two years, after our marriage. Cancer." the elder seems remembering his wife's last days,

"I hated life after she died, I was so broken, she was too young to die."

 

**_Everything in life is inconsistent, except death._ **

 

"I lived here after mourning her death for years," the elder is looking at the waves, "I hated death too, she takes people's happiness, a loved one, a parent, a child, a pet...," Jongin agrees.

"But in life, you'll also meet your end one day, and that is death." pointing at the waves, the elder looked at Jongin.

"Just like waves, it has been traveling from one island to island, hitting the other waves, but do you know where they end up?"

Jongin was silent..

"It hits the sand at the end of the day, it will all end up hitting the surface, then the waves would just continue. It's a cycle.."

 

**_When it's all over, life must starts again._ **

 

"It made me realize, death took my wife not because she deserved it, not because I deserve the pain of losing my love, but because,  _life and death are one. W_ hen you are born you have to live your life, because when death meets you, your life will start again."

 

**_The end and the beginning._ **

 

"The ghost, I think is just a lost one, he can't cross because there's something he hasn't done in his past life," the elder closed his eyes, breathing the salty air, the wind hitting the roof, making screeching sounds.

 

"I'll do the best I can," Jongin assures the elder, and perhaps, also assuring himself.

* * *

 

 

Jongin is standing in a dark turn alley of the town, lamp post above his head illuminating the rain, now softly hitting the ground. It's past 10 o'clock already but Jongin didn't even sense any sign of the ghost.

Maybe he didn't like doing his activity while it's raining, Jongin thought.

He went on his way to an apartment he rent for the night thinking this might take a while to solve.

 

 

Inside his room, the side table lamp lighting the room, Jongin lays on his bed, listening to the rain and thunder like a duo singing their hearts out, he let the sleep envelope him into the quietness...

 

* * *

_He's sweating, he can feel the wetness on his body, he can hear a humming in his sleep, a very familiar tune, there's a voice, calling his name, "Jongin...Jongin...Jongin..."_

 

He woke up, bolted his upper body up on the bed, he's gripping the bed sheets hard, he's breathing hard and he's sweating..

 

"Nightmare.. just a nightmare Jongin," he told himself, calming his breathing he stood up and gazed at outside window, it's still raining but it's soft now.

 

The hair at the back of his neck suddenly stood up, he can feel the shiver threatening to run over his body. His air passageway constricted for what he is hearing...the humming..the very familiar tune he used to hear a year ago..in the dark alleys of the town..he can hear it.

 

 _Kyungsoo_?

 

Jongin run and grabbed his coat, he goes out of the apartment and run.

The voice, that voice... It's moving. No, no..It can't be him, it can't be his Kyungsoo, no.

Ignoring the droplets hitting his face as he move, he chased the voice down..

"No it can't be him.." _Please_ , Jongin prays.

The voice suddenly is gone..it stopped.

Jongin halts and pulls his hair, his eyes searching the the dark road in front of him..he's agitated.

"Where did you go? show yourself!" he shouted to no one, but the only thing that greets him was the sound of the rain and silence. Panicking and gasping for air, he turned his way on the other side of the road, he made his way to the hill.

It took him minutes to arrive there, the rain wetting his shirt and pants, his face also wet from the rain, but he has to know. When he got there, there was no one, the dark sky hinting an orange light from the horizon, it's dawn, sun rise already.

 

Jongin stands there for a minute, staring at the waves on the sea, gazing at the clouds... _maybe_ , just maybe he was just tired and heard the humming he missed, maybe he was just dreaming. Jongin wiped the wetness on off his face, took a deep breath and relaxed himself.

But he was wrong, he felt a presence behind him.

A ghost.

Heart beating hard, he gasped when he heard the voice he missed so much, the voice he didn't hear for a year...

_Kyungsoo's._

 

" _Jongin_... " that deep voice made Jongin's body tremble.

 

His heart constricts, he's breathing loudly. Jongin's shoulder tenses, he commanded his body to move and turn.

As he turned, he directed his gaze at the wet ground. He slowly looked at the ghost in front of him, from down to up. He's barefooted, the white skin on the ghost's feet showing, _up.._ He's wearing a white pants and a white turtle neck, the sleeves down on the smaller build's wrists.

Then Jongin looked at the face of his dead fiance, his hair was the same, short just like how the last time Jongin saw it, his round eyes sparkling with unshed tears, and his lips, curved into a sad smile.

Kyungsoo, his Kyungsoo, is the ghost.

 

"Kyungsoo.." a barely whisper escapes Jongin.

 

" _You came for me Jongin.._ " he smiles and Jongin couldn't help but sob.

Jongin bit his lips hard..his hands in fists on his side. He's crying.

 

The one who was taken away from him, his love who was taken away, that left him broken, is in front of him, for him, for Jongin to send off. He can't believe why he deserves this, of all people, why him.

 

 _Fucking death and her unfairness._ Jongin gritted through his teeth.

 

Jognin knows what he's about to do is selfish, a coward move, he's tired and he can't do it. He can't send off Kyungsoo, he can't. He will not give his love to death for the second time as fast as death took Kyungsoo away from Jongin.

 

So he ran, he ran and ran. Jongin ran leaving behind Kyungsoo, who has tears in his eyes, and whispered,

 

_"You have to do it Jongin...you have to let me go."_

 

* * *

It feels like deja vu, Jongin running away, rain hitting his face, the grey clouds and the pain, the same pain. Kyungsoo to be taken away suddenly before and now Jongin has to let go of him, to send him off.

He's been running that he didn't notice he ended up at the far side of the beach. He stops, staggering and sinking on his knees to the dirt, the anger boiling his temper, he had enough of this game.

"Do you think this is funny?! Is this what you're trying to tell me? What do you want me to do? Just send him away just like that? Huh?!" his anger, clouding his awareness, glaring at the tearing sky above.

"You're unfair! You're so unfair! To me and to him!" pointing the direction of the hill.

"I can't,-" Jongin sobs and covers his eyes, his face.

"Please I can't, I can't lose him again.." he begged to no one.

"I can't let him go! Do you hear me?!" Jongin doesn't know how, he can't just let go of Kyungsoo now that he's a wondering ghost, it's a selfish deed for Jongin, but he has lost enough.

 

Jongin sensed someone behind him, he turned his head and saw that it was the least person he wanted to see now, _Junmyeon_. The latter's face confirmed Jongin's suspicion.

He stood up and grabbed the man's collar, "You knew didn't you? You knew it was Kyungsoo...that's why you wanted me here, why!" Jongin is fuming mad now.

Junmyeon gripped Jongin's arms and hands, he clenched the fingers gripping his collar,

"I had my suspicion Jongin, there were signs but I wasn't sure, and based on what's happening to you now, I guessed I was right.. "

Jongin clasped his hair in frustration, the tears threatening to fall, "I don't know what to do, I-I can't let him go, I can't send him off, I'm a selfish asshole! I can't let Kyungsoo go.." shaking his head, he guess he's already losing his mind.

"Jongin listen to me, --" Junmyeon trying to make sense, but Jongin knows, he can't, he won't, shaking his head he turned his back at Junmyeon and starts walking away.

If he's going to be a madman, then so be it.

An arm grabbed him, and a punch landed on his right jaw. He falls off because of the suddenness, he can taste blood on his mouth right now.

"You're being selfish now! You're being ungrateful!" Junmyeon straddles him and landed another punch on his cheek, then straightens his stance and hovers at Jongin.

"You of all people should understand why a ghost is lost and wandering! They can't rest in peace because of unfinished business!"

Jongin is breathing hard and made he himself sit, spitting the blood on the dirt.

He know this truth, he was just hiding it at the back of his mind.

"Yes you suddenly lost Kyungsoo, both of you were not ready. Yes you're still grieving, yes you're still in pain, but did it ever occur to you that _someday_ , someday Kyungsoo's soul will comeback here because you're still hurting? Because you can't let him go?"

"And now that he's here, you can see him, you can hear his voice, you can appease the regrets you've been trying to hide."

He knows, he fucking knows but the truth still hurts him.

Junmyeon chuckles at him, shaking his head. "You're even lucky Jongin, some people out there, lost someone they love and didn't have a chance to say their last goodbye! Yours might be a year late but he's here, he came back, for you, and he's waiting there!" pointing at the direction of the hill.

"If being with him and talking to him one last time would be the price for sending him off, then that's the best you can do to make him happy, for the last time, Jongin." each word piercing Jongin's heart.

 

Jongin knows this, he really does.

"You have a day Jongin, make every damn moment count, and please clean yourself before seeing him, I don't want to see Kyungsoo glaring at me in my dreams."

Junmyeon said as he walks away, leaving Jongin with a lighter weight on his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor Jongin...last chapter next..ughh this story is hurting me


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lot of tears, a lot of unsaid words..their last goodbye

After he made up his mind and cleans himself, he made his way back at the hill.

The rain gone and the sun up, Jongin promised that he will make this day worth to remember.

 

He arrives at the hill, found that no one is there, his breathing now getting out of control.

Clearing his throat, he hopes Kyungsoo wasn't upset for what happened earlier.

 

"Kyungsoo? Soo? I'm here."

 

 _Silence_.

 

"You came back.." Jongin got surprised when he heard a voice, the tingles coming back, turning to the direction of the voice, he saw Kyungsoo leaning his weight to a tree, smiling at Jongin.

 

He was still beautiful, Jongin thought.

 

"I missed you, Nini." the smaller said as he made his way to where Jongin was standing, tears on those round eyes and a smile on his beautiful face.

Jongin wants to hug him, but he knows he can't, but he tries nonetheless, caressing the cheeks he remembers so soft, his touch meeting the warm air,

"I miss you too Soo, baby so much.."

Crying the year of being without each other, now both were given a chance to say their last goodbyes.

 

* * *

Day spent, talking about the things happened for a year after Kyungsoo died.

They're sitting down on the dry ground of the hill, facing the sea.

Jongin thinks that it's weird to talk about everything that has happened to Kyungsoo.

But Kyungsoo seems contented to know how everyone was doing, he was happy about Chanyeol's and Baek's kid, the kindergarten, his parents' well being, but he was upset about Jongin smoking. He's unimpressed.

"I never thought you'd end up smoking, that's so out of your character, Nini." Kyungsoo tried to smack Jongin's head but Jongin ended up just feeling a whip of air.

Jongin chuckles and smiled at the beauty beside him, "It was the only thing I can turn to, I was sad and broken, Soo. But I stopped already, so you can now stop glaring at me..."

He smiles and gazed at the sea. This brings back memories, when Kyungsoo was still alive.

 

"I'm sorry, Jongin.." Kyungsoo whispers.

 

Jongin knows he's not only apologising for dying suddenly, he knows life and death is inevitable, Kyungsoo is also sorry, for he's still leaving, tomorrow.

"We're both sorry, I'm sorry too, Kyungsoo. I was selfish, I was so hurt and I kept on holding on to you, even after a year, even now.. "

If he could touch Kyungsoo, he would've already caged the smaller in his arms, hug him tight and kiss him so hard, to let him know how much he misses the presence of the ghost in his life, his warmth, his breath, his own beating heart.

" _“I love you every day we were together. And now I will miss you every day you’re not here with me.” Y_ ou said that, on the day I died.." Kyungsoo says as Jongin looked at him, now he sees that there are already tears in the ghost's face.

"Yes, I did, Soo.." touching the smaller's face trying to dry the tear stricken face.

"You heard me?"

"I always hear you, Jongin..,you said I'd love the beach here, you're right, I love it here."

They were silent for long, calm silence with the sound of waves hitting the shore.

"You can't let yourself suffer anymore Jongin, I might have left you on such a wrong time, too early, but it's not the end for you. Don't hate life so much, there are still great things out there to be thankful for.."

He knows, Jongin's aware, and he'll try for Kyungsoo and for himself.

He'll try, _to live better._

"Thank you Nini.." all Jongin can do is nod his head and smile.

The day's hours passed so quick, the bright sky earlier is now tainted with blue dark shade, the sun setting showing an orange gradient on to the horizon.

They spent their last remaining hours, talking about the past, the first time they met, the first dinner, their first kiss, their first love making, and the day Jongin proposed to Kyungsoo.

"Your ugly face was priceless, you were like a baby! I still have the pictures in the house!" Jongin exclaims at the laughing ghost,

"You shocked me, we were fighting the night before and then you suddenly on one knee and ask me to marry you the next day! I thought you were going to break up with me.." Kyungsoo giggles.

His face so happy, his eyes into crescent moon shape, and lips to a heart.

 

He looks so angelic, glowing.

 

"Can we do the usual?" Jongin suddenly asked, Kyungsoo smiled knowingly and made a space for Jongin to lay into his side. Jongin lays sideways near to the ghost's lap, facing the dark sky. He can feel air brushing his hair, calming him, Kyungsoo's hand.

 

Jongin, finally feeling the pressure of what to come when the sun rise up from the mountains the next day, took a deep breath.

He have to let him go, for good. Accepting this truth, he ignored a tear that escaped from his left eye.

 

"You have my ring.." Kyungsoo states.

Jongin glances at his right hand and played the two silver rings on his ring finger.

 

A humming broke the night's silence, like a lost song he missed so much. He'll remember this night forever.

 

"I love you, Kyungsoo.." Jongin whispers as he closed his eyes.

"I love you too Jongin... _always_." he hears Kyungsoo before the humming and sleep took him into darkness.

 

* * *

Sun rays glistening on to the waves, waves hitting the surface below reached his ears, the same humming in the background, whips of air on his hair, and the view of sun rise are what Jongin noticed when he opened his eyes.

 

The feeling he has been trying to control the other night bursts as he heard his dead fiance's voice and said.

" _It's time_.."

They're sitting facing each other, the sun hitting Jongin's left side of his face while the rising sun highlights more of Kyungsoo's glowing. There are tears on both of their faces, gasps surrounds their silence.

Jongin while biting his lips, was trying to find the flaw from the ghost's form while fiddling the blade on his hands, he was trying to prolong this moment, to stay more with his love.

" _Jongin.._ " his dead fiance, trying to get his attention.

" _Yes Soo?.._ " he said with a broken voice. This is hard, to let go, but he knows it's for the better.

" _You know I love you right?.._ " Kyungsoo leaned as he touches Jongin's face.

Jongin leaned in to the warm air on his face as he nodded, " _I know, I love you too, Soo..._ "

Kyungsoo smiles, " _With everything I am, I was, and with everything I will be.._ "

Jongin lost it and sobs hard, " _Kyungsoo...I love you, so much, I will always love you.._ " he said between sobs.

" _We'll see each other again, I'm sure of it..._ " as the ghost collects Jongin's tears on his glowing hands..

Kyungsoo presented his right palm open, and there Jongin saw the cut with white little lights on it. There it is.

 

_This is it._

Jongin took a deep breath and raised the the blade on top of Kyungsoo's open up palm. Within a heart beat, he let the blade meet the cut on the ghost's palm.

 

_It's done._

Jongin dropped the blade and covers his face, crying hard, he's gonna lose Kyungsoo again. He can't...

" _Jongin look at me.._ " the ghost pleaded and so he did.

The ghost is smiling, a happy smile directed at him. There are already little lights floating around his dead fiance.

" _I love you every day we were together.._ " Kyungsoo said as tears slides on his glowing face..

 

 **_Make every damn moment count Jongin_ ** **.**

 

" _..._ And now, I will miss you every day you're not hear with me _._ " Jongin said back, with a real happy smile on his own face.

Kyungsoo happily nodded,

" _Be happy.._ " Kyungsoo holds his hands, and leaned in...for a kiss.

" _I will.._." Jongin whispered as he closed his own eyes for their last kiss.

 

A warm air touched Jongin's lips.

 

Moments after, he opened his eyes and there he saw the little lights flowing far away, and away, until there's no more.

Just the sun high up, soft wind hitting the grass, the sound  of the sea, warm air hitting his face and hair, drying up the tears on his cheeks.

 

Jongin saw the white feather in front of him, he took it and wrapped his own arms around him, the feather close to his heart, taking a deep sigh, and with a sad smile on his face, his heart with no heavy weight, he whispered to the wind.

" _Goodbye, Kyungsoo..._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting someone and their future. 
> 
>  
> 
> This is the last chapter, and I thank everyone who read this, I enjoyed writing this one. Thank you so much!

“Reincarnation…” a deep male voice interrupted Jongin’s nap.

He’s currently at the park, their park, taking a nap because of the week’s activities, some ghosts decided to show up on every corners of the city (he’s exaggerating) and tire the shit out of the exorcists in the organization.

  
Jongin is particularly tired, red ghosts were all given to him and he would have done something for it but he knows no one questions Junmyeon.

So to be disturbed by someone from his precious nap, Jongin couldn’t say that he’s happy for the intrusion.

  
Adjusting his eyes, he looked at the stranger who’s standing in front of him, wearing a dark green bomber jacket, a black v neck shirt underneath, black pants and black baseball cap. Jongin’s sure he doesn’t know this guy.  
He squinted his eyes and rubs his neck and wonders who this guy is.

“I’m sorry but do I know you?”

  
The guy starred at him blankly and then shrugs sitting beside Jongin that made him raised his brows at the stranger staring at the people who also are spending their time at the park.

“You’ll meet him again...” the stranger said suddenly.

  
Jongin glared at the guy. What the hell is he talking about?

  
“Who?” Jongin asked, did he forget some cases?

  
“Kyungsoo...” the stranger says as he looked at Jongin back.

Jongin’s heart skipped at the mention of his dead fiancé. It’s been a year since he send off Kyungsoo and honestly, he’s been coping up well, he’s happy now, but he still misses Kyungsoo. So it irked him that this guy knows his dead love.

  
“Who are you?” Jongin asked in his hard authorative tone.

  
“Bro, can you just listen to me about this one? I searched the whole park to find you and you gonna ask me about me? Seriously?”

Jongin wants to laugh, this guy must be crazy. He stands up after muttering _you’re crazy_ at the guy before he started walking away.

“You’ll meet him again, but you’ll never know it was him!” The guy shouted at him.

  
Jongin looked back as he stops walking away, “So through reincarnation?” he asked

  
The stranger nodded, “You were not meant to be together on this time, but on both of your next lives, you both will.”

  
Jongin tilts his head, curious. Perhaps the stranger is right, life is a cycle anyways.

  
“Who are you?” Jongin wanted to know the guy’s name, maybe he’s ghost, but he should be transparent now because of the sun.

  
“I’m not a ghost...” the stranger stands up,

”-ask Junmyeon.” then he disappears.

  
“What the f-.” Jongin scans the park, but didn’t see the stranger.

Did that guy disappeared in front of his eyes?

* * *

“Junmyeon…” Jongin immediately made his way to their headquarters to find his boss in his office scanning some papers, if the guy wasn’t lying; maybe Junmyeon knows what the actual hell he witnessed at the park earlier.

  
His boss raised his head and looked at him curiously,

“What happened to you?”

Jongin doesn’t know.

“Uhh, I saw something, no- I met someone..” Jongin is now pacing in front of his boss.

How should he explain this?

“And?” Junmyeon is now attentive, “Did you meet death again?” his eyes gaping at Jongin.

  
“Uhh, no, no.” shaking his head, he sits on the chair in front of Junmyeon.

  
“So who is it?” standing up, Junmyeon grabs two glasses and walks to a table for brandy.

  
“He said you know him...” Jongin said distantly, remembering the conversation earlier.

  
Junmyeon sits back on his swivel chair and offered one glass to Jongin, grabbing it, Jongin talks about how the guy suddenly appeared out of nowhere and disappearing like a smoke in front of him,

“He said I’ll meet Kyungsoo again but I will not know him, that we were not meant for this lifetime but in our both next lives, we will. Through –“

  
“Reincarnation.” Junmyeon said out of nowhere.

 

“Yes...” Jongin nods his head.

A minute of silence, and a chuckle from Junmyeon broke it.

Jongin never saw his boss chuckle, or even laugh. He’s always serious so seeing his boss laughing in tears is a shock for him.

  
“Uhh..” Jongin thinks this is not good at all, he’s boss is now laughing.

“That jerk—,” a laugh “—he just showed himself now? He’s fucking late, as always, he hasn’t changed...” and then another laugh from his boss.

  
Jongin is confused right now. What the hell is happening here?

“Okay...Okay can you stop already? Who is that guy?” Jongin asked seriously, he wants answers, now.

  
Still laughing, Junmyeon raised his one hand up, asking for a moment.

  
“Okay…uhh…ahem…”

  
Still not saying anything, Jongin lost his patience,

“Can you tell me what the actual hell is going on? Who was that? And why do you know some disappearing guy?”

  
“Calm down will you, you’re acting like you haven’t seen disappearing ghosts on the field...”

  
“Then please start talking, how do you know that guy?” Jongin sits down again.

  
Junmyeon stands up and stood in front of his window, his back at Jongin.

  
“Let’s just say, he’s an acquaintance…” Junmyeon said as he snickered glancing at Jongin from the window’s reflection.

  
“Who’s he?” Jongin’s heart skipping faster because of the tension inside the room.

  
Junmyeon was contemplating if he should really say it to Jongin, but since the guy himself appeared in front of Jongin, he guessed there’s no helping it.

  
“The man you met Jongin, was the reason behind of all things, that was him..."

Silence.

 

 _"Fate...”_  

* * *

 "Soo-yah! Slow down!"

  
The child running halted on his steps, "Mommy, aunt from next door is back! I have to see her!"

  
"Don't run, you'll fall!" the child's mother running after the child.

  
The child stopped in front of someone's house, he knocked like a good little child he was. His uncle from that house opened the door, the adult ushered him inside together with his mummy.

  
"I'm so sorry for interrupting, he's just so excited.." his mommy whispered.

  
"It's okay, but Soo-yah you need to keep quiet. They're resting right now, okay?"

  
The child happily nodded with a cheerful "Yes!"

  
They made their way up to the stairs, while his mommy holds his little hands.

  
They stopped in front of a door, and the uncle made a 'shhh' gesture, they nodded, and the uncle opened the door.

  
There the child saw his favorite auntie, lying on the bed and sleeping, with an arm around something.

  
"Oh my.." his mommy exclaims.

  
He tilted his head and asked, "Mommy what's that?"

  
"Soo-yah it's a baby.."

_A baby?_

They near the bed and there the child saw the baby, it's so little, and color pink.

"It's so smawll mommy," the child whispers.

  
"He's still a new born baby, he'll grow just like you one day.." his mommy said.

  
"What's his name?" her mommy asked the uncle as the child stared more at the baby.

"Jongin...Nini for short," the uncle chuckles.

  
"Nini?" the child says..

 

The child thinks they'll be good friends when the baby grows up as tall as he is.

 

  
Soo didn't know, the baby will grow way taller than he will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol at Kyungsoo's height, but I love my baby.


End file.
